Not a euphemism

Anna Sui Ring Rouge

Bitter, after reading Bullfinch

Times New Roman, a font probably stolen from the Greeks.

Not Only Easy to Swallow -- They're Sanitized!

We, as a nation, have not always yammered on about carbs and reps before taking the televised compulsory victory lap on the beach with an Irish setter.

A Jousting Targe

At the Metropolitan Museum of Art, in a hallway glass case on the way to the Arms and Armor, there is a jousting targe something like this one:

Something like, yes; however, the one I mean goes by the nickname "cat. no. 69.169" and is painted with an owl grasping a branch while a ribbon unfurls itself in an arc overhead, proclaiming:


"Though I am hated by all birds, I nevertheless enjoy that."

That is one stone cold hoot owl.

Welcome to The Dharma Agni Jnana Prana Ananda Loka Motel!

As you know, “Dharma Agni Jnana Prana Ananda Loka” means “moral piety sacred fire intuitive knowledge life force bliss realm,” and we here at The Dharma Agni Jnana Prana Ananda Loka Motel need your help to insure that your room becomes your own moral piety sacred fire intuitive knowledge life force bliss realm during your stay.

We make a conscious effort to conserve the blessings of water. If we were to change your sheets and towels every day, it would only serve to waste water – not to mention use energy and brutally introducing detergents (assuming you have opted for the “soap-treated linen” choice upon check-in) into our nation’s precious water supply. Because it's so important to us, we will wash your linens only when you leave. If your personal habits require that we change them more frequently, go ahead and throw them on the floor if this is what you do at home.

In addition to saving water by limiting laundry, we use low-flow toilets. We would appreciate it if our visitors would keep flushing to once – or, at most, twice – an hour while you are with us. Also, please limit your time in our low-pressure shower.

Tidying your room every day would require a commitment of countless hours of labor -- not to mention the use of energy -- and cleaning supplies (assuming you have opted for the “substance application” choice upon check-in.) Dusting, straightening, and
vacuuming a low-traffic area more frequently than once a week is just plain wasteful. Chances are you will not even notice the difference under our energy-saving compact low-luminosity fluorescent bulbs! An added feature of this romantic lighting choice is that our lamps put out 47% less heat than conventional bulbs; you will be that much less likely to miss air conditioning in the summer.

We encourage our guests to lead a healthy, active lifestyle. Why not feel better about yourself every morning you are with us? Wake up, shake off the craving for stimulants like tea or coffee and take responsibility for making your own bed. After that, have an invigorating wash and leave your room right away. Go on -- get out there!

All too soon, it will be time for you to go. We will miss you. The mandatory check-out time for our guests is 11:00 a.m. and there will be NO EXEPTIONS MADE. Well before you must be gone, simply strip your bed, draw the blinds, turn out the lights, bring your garbage to the basement, move your suitcases to your car and be sure to return the baggage cart to the lobby. Leave your key at the front desk.

Gratuities gladly accepted!

That Damned $5.00 Psychic

What do I need with somebody telling me my past? If I wanted to hear about my past, I'd send for my high school transcript and return my ex-husband's phone calls.

Go Here -- Do This

Visit the First Sundays Film Festival site:

and watch "Suffer the Little Children."

Features on the new 36th Floor copy machine that could also be the names of cable television network original crime drama series

The Collator
The System Monitor
The Counter
The Document Feeder
The Scanner
The Sorter
The Finisher