It’s Dick Cheney – And He’s Armed!

Ever since the Poughkeepsie Journal reported this weekend that Vice President Dick Cheney will go hunting at the Clove Valley Rod & Gun Club, the humor’s been flying like buckshot in LaGrangeville, New York.

“The same old jokes are going around,” says Matt Dwyer, who is in charge of clipping bird wings for the gun club. “You know, ‘let’s hope his aim is better now than when he was saying there was an al Qaida-Saddam link’ and ‘I bet the birds know what Valerie Plame felt like.’ Just good-natured stuff like that.’

While some area residents complain about road closings and traffic delays, others say he should be left alone to enjoy some well-deserved R&R and get a taste of what it will be like when he retires to private life to enjoy his deferred Halliburton compensation full-time.

But there are a few class clowns who can’t resist having a little good-natured fun about Cheney’s hunting abilities.

“I’m no Jay Leno,” says one long-time Dutchess County resident. “The man’s here to commune with nature and shoot at it, so we won’t be making with the gags about his aim in the past – like why he’s underfunding the CIA in favor of the NSA. Or the liberties he’s taken with the Constitution.”

Marcel Marceau (1923-2007), Bip (1947-2007)

He went quietly.

He looks like he's sleeping. With his elbow propped up on a mantel.

Now he's walking against the dirt.

And after all that time trying to escape from a box, too.

Scale of Importance (All Values Measured in Shakes of a Fat Rat’s Ass)

Lose crappy expensive cell phone in a cab (phone stayed shut only with a rubber band or hair elastic and had only one week left on the contract, anyway) – 1

Secretary in the next cubicle promoted to Assistant Office Manager – 2

Older sister gets Mom’s charm bracelet – 5

Ex-boyfriend goes out with the redheaded waitress at Bar Sinister – 8

World Peace – 400+